I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Randomize
