Pants 0. Shit 1.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
