Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
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