I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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