Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
