wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
