what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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