During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
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of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
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The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
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