Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
Did I show you my penis last night?
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
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