Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
