So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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