Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
