Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
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Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
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