Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize
