he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize
