The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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