butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
Randomize
