So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
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