So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Randomize
