She's JV to your varsity
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
Randomize
