Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
