bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
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