Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize
