if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
Randomize
