thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
Randomize
