she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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