I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
smell my finger.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
Randomize
