I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
