i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
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