Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
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