I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
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