There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
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