just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
Randomize
