they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
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