i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize
