That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Randomize
