i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
Randomize
