doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
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