My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
