we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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