Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Randomize
