Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Randomize
