Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
