I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
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