i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize
