im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
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see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
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currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
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