So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
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