I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
