Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
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