You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
Randomize
