Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
