Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
Randomize
