how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
he just fucked me for my cheese..
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
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