and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
