this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
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He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
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You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
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