Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
Four minutes until I can fart!
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Randomize
