I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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