Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
Randomize
