He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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