super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
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